

Hurt People Hurt People
In recent news, the Dominican author Junot Diaz wrote a deeply resonant account of his childhood rape and the lifelong effect the trauma had on his thoughts, actions, behaviors, world view, and sense of identity. Not surprisingly, an immediate reaction from many women whom he has hurt came forth. And I presume that many more who have felt hurt by him are remaining silent. Following that, a Facebook friend and internationally known yoga therapist suggested that, the fact that


Not Saying No, Does Not Mean Yes
It was ten years ago. She was 27 and he was 60. He was a powerful man who could advance her career, and she was willing to meet with him in the hopes that a professional opportunity would materialize. She was not even remotely attracted to him. Still, she agreed to join him for dinner in his hotel room, hoping that this small sacrifice might yield a greater success for her future. As the evening wore on, she excused herself to use the restroom, feeling relieved that the dinne


Lift Our Voices
It was my first real job. I was 16 years old and working as a check-out clerk at a local grocery store. I loved the independence of making my own money, and I had a cool boss as a bonus. He was probably in early 40s, but he acted like a teenager. He cracked jokes, stuck around to play Pac Man after the place closed, and didn’t let much ruffle his feathers. He made work fun—for a while. After some time, he began making inappropriate comments, cloaked as a joke. Comments like,


Healing The Silent Survivors
Several years back I was sitting around a kitchen table chatting with two friends with whom I am very close. One of them was Paula (name changed for privacy). We were reminiscing about our college days and we got to talking about various regrets, mostly involving alcohol. Paula began telling us of an experience she had that involved excessive drinking and a boat. Through a bit of uncomfortable laughter she described an evening during which she got more intoxicated than she


The Truth About Vulnerability
Vulnerability has been a buzz word ever since researcher Brene Brown’s TED talk went viral in 2011. According to Brown, allowing ourselves to be vulnerable is the key to authentic connection and living fully. This can go undisputed. But if saying yes to vulnerability is the key to a more meaningful, fulfilling, and connected life, why is it so difficult? Why do so many of us still struggle with anxiety, depression, feelings of despair, and struggle? Because to the survival s


The Empathy Test
Can we feel empathy in our bodies? What exactly does it feel like? How will we know when we feel it? Try this little test. Click on the video below and expand to full screen. Turn up your volume and watch the video. Notice the sensations you feel in your body when you watch. Notice how they shift and change with the changing events in the video. That's empathy! Empathy is to feel with, not to feel sorry for. It is an embodied experience of compassion with no attachment to out

Meet My Friend, Shame
Not too long ago I received an email from a new friend. We had just spent five days together with several colleagues working on a book of best practices for yoga with sexual trauma survivors. His email was thoughtful and gentle, but he wanted to let me know I had made a comment that weekend that just didn’t sit right with him. He offered me some useful reading on a subject that he, admittedly, has much more knowledge about, offered himself for further conversation, and signed


Chasing Well-Being
I recently attended the Women’s Conference in Boston, MA. For one full day, thirteen thousand women—mostly from the corporate world—gathered to connect, learn, and share ideas with one another. Throughout the day, I was asked what I did for work. In response, I said, “I developed a program and training that aids women in finding a sense of well-being.” I quickly realized people understand well-being in a variety of ways! Many of the women I talked to understood it simply as h